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  • Writer's pictureClaire Timmermans

Are you someone who bottles up emotions?

Are you someone who bottles up his or her feelings or do others say you do? Do you find it difficult to discuss what you are feeling and sometimes simply do not have the words to express yourself?

This is not necessarily negative: you are often well able to make analyses yourself and solve your problems. However, people who bottle up emotions and do not stand up for their feelings may face both physical and mental consequences at an early or late age. Worrying a lot and not talking about it is a dangerous combination. People who worry a lot and tend to raise their concerns have a higher cortisol level in their blood. Cortisol is a stress hormone. As a result, the immune system becomes unbalanced, which increases the chance of all kinds of inflammation and stress-related issues.

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Fortunately, it doesn't have to come to that at all. What can you do about it?

- Talking about it: The most important thing is to make your feelings negotiable. Of course, this is easier said than done. Yet this is the key to success. Fortunately, you can learn to talk. Non-talking is partly learned. You may have learned somewhere in your life that you can't trust people. If you make yourself vulnerable, you are afraid that others will drop, reject or laugh at you. But that fear is almost always unfounded. Relationships and friendships benefit from talking. Provided the communication is positive, of course.

If something annoys you, it doesn't help to reproach or make demands. Then you will indeed get what you fear: rejection. Rather mention the behavior that bothers you and the feeling it gives you. Keep it to yourself. Say, for example, "I'm sorry you forgot about my birthday, it makes me sad." This will not only increase, but will also affect the other person and encourage positive action. At least it's a lot healthier than sulking.

- Putting things in perspective: Because of your stress sensitivity, you tend to talk yourself into the pit. If something bad happens, you assume the worst and you think it's never going to be okay. But you can not only talk your way into the pit. Do you feel stressed about anything? Then ask yourself: am I not exaggerating? What's the worst thing that can happen? Of course, you don't have to reason away every problem. The point is that you no longer turn every mosquito into an elephant and lie awake for nights from a triviality. Putting negative thoughts into perspective and airing your heart can mean regularly having to go against your natural tendencies. If you're worrying again, say "stop" to yourself. Find distractions or put your peak into perspective.

If you manage to go against your natural tendency to worry, this will bring great benefits. Your heart and vessels will stay healthy longer, you will feel more vital and your relationships with others will benefit. To achieve that, you don't have to become another human being.

- Professional help: Do you find it difficult to find someone to talk to within your friends and acquaintances? Then don't be afraid to seek help. An independent person can sometimes give an even better view of the case. Also, you don't have to be afraid of rejection or conviction among professionals.

As an online psychologist and online counsellor, we are happy to help you to recognize your personal pitfalls and help you to express your feelings better. Burnout or stress-related complaints are better prevented than cured. Online therapy has many advantages over therapy in the treatment room and has been proven to be equally effective.

Are you interested in online therapy and our treatment options? Visit our website and contact us without obligation via our contact form. We are happy to explain how we can help you.

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