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  • Writer's pictureClaire Timmermans

Online therapy for processing grief

Grief is saying goodbye after a profound loss. Not only the death of a loved one, but also the breakup of a relationship, loss of work, friendship, health, stage of life are losses that are mourned. When people lose someone who's important to them, something changes in their lives. The world looks different, nothing seems the same anymore. Priorities shift. What was important at first becomes of secondary importance. That's a shocking experience because it usually also means you're not on the same wavelength as the people around you anymore. Grieving can be seen as someone's process of adapting to that totally changed situation. You have to re-tune your life, after all, the beloved person is gone for good.

How do I do that... Mourning?

Every grieving process is unique. There is no 'fixed' reaction to loss. There's also no fixed way to be happy. What is important is that you can start allowing your feelings at your pace. Often we are afraid of our emotions and then get angry, for example. Or we have other strategies to avoid having to go to our pain, such as rationalizing feelings away.

Mourning in times of Corona

Farewell and mourning in times of Corona can give extra challenges. Finding support from others can help enormously in an acute mourning phase. Due to the Coronavirus, restrictions have been imposed with regard to physical contact. Dealing with a loss in the corona period can therefore be extra difficult. Because the corona crisis does not allow face-to-face help and waiting lists for help are expected to increase, online help can provide an appropriate alternative for bereaved families seeking help during and after the pandemic.

Different complains that are noticed when grieving

Allowing the pain and sadness and dealing with all kinds of other feelings that can occur is perhaps the most difficult within a grieving process. Maybe you didn't even know some feelings of yourself, such as fear, anger, gloom, desire, loneliness, alienation, lethargy, guilt, or despair. It may also be true that you do not seem to feel sadness. It may make you doubt yourself. Often there are also physical complaints, such as fatigue, concentration problems, or insomnia.

Common reactions to loss are:

- Feeling intensely alone

- Feeling empty, downed, not feeling like anything

- Guilt

- Restlessness or confusion

- Dreams or nightmares about loss

- Seeing, hearing or feeling the deceased all the time

- Poor self care

Mourning phases

Within a grieving process you will go through different phases. They do not have to appear in the said fixed order, but often all four pass by in the grieving process.

Phase 1: accepting the reality of loss. The reality of loss is slowly beginning to dawn. You know there's a loss, but you don't quite realize it yet. In the event of unexpected loss, the process of acceptance takes longer. At the also, the awareness of the irreversibility of loss must arise.

Phase 2: living through the pain and sadness. It's best for your processing if you don't put this grief away.

Phase 3: adapting to a new life without what or the one that is missed . This requires a lot of adaptation and maybe even new skills.

Phase 4: giving loss a place in your life, both emotionally and sometimes practically and re-en picking up your life.

Online therapy for grief processing

Sometimes the grieving process is disrupted. The mourning phases are not all (sufficiently) completed and the person continues to function poorly in daily life. An example of this is stagnant mourning or delayed mourning. When you have a lot of trouble with the grieving process and feel that you can't get out yourself, psychological treatment or counselling can help. A treatment can help to restart the natural grieving process. The loss takes on a new meaning in your life, allowing you to pick up the thread again.

Do you recognize yourself in the above pattern of complaints? As mentioned before, there is no one way of processing a loss. If it turns out that you can't figure it out your way, you recognize yourself in the above complaints and working with an online psychologist through online therapy appeals to you, visit our website The faster you start processing your loss, the faster you get a grip on your situation.

These people preceded you:

"After my father died, I was completely stuck. For years, I've hidden and avoided my emotions. Now I know how to express my emotions and I have found much more peace. Thank you!" - Bert, 34 years

"I am very satisfied with the treatment of Nostra Forza. The contact is partly because it is online, very accessible, but certainly no less effective. As far as I'm concerned really recommended" - Nadine, 56 years

online rouwverwerking rouwtherapie: verwerken van verlies, licht vinden in de duisternis

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